My sister in law always said the following to me:
” You have one kid on an amazing sleep schedule, it’s a fluke. You get both, and you write a book”.
Well, with two small kids, I do not have the time to write a book. However, due to how much they both sleep, I do have time to write a blog post.
Tricks to Getting A Bad Ass Sleep Schedule from a Breastfeeding Mom
Mags is now three and Molly is 9 months. Molly sleeps each morning for an hour and a half, then her and Maggie both take a nap at the same time around three, and then they both go to bed and sleep from 8:30-8:30. These sleep breaks are the key to my sanity as a mom. I’ve had so many friends of friends reach out who are having trouble getting their little ones to sleep consistently and I’m going to post the advice here I give them.
Tip One: Start Day One
We got home from the hospital and that first night we began the bedtime routine. It didn’t start until 11 PM and it didn’t ever result in sleep those first two weeks, but boy did it lay the precedent for what our kids were to expect. Most importantly, it taught Easy E and I what to expect.
Our routine consists of the four Bs: Bath, Book, Blessing, and Booby/Bottle. We start with a bath, I give a baby massage, swaddle, we read a book, say a little prayer, sing a song, and then eat. Our routine was never long, maybe 20 minutes total but always was consistent. Mags is now three and while it has modified it’s the same routine. When Molly was born we jumped right into it like riding a bike.
2. Pump that Bedtime Bottle
I’m a great mom. A loving mom. A fun mom. But, I’m a selfish mom. A mom who always knew she wanted some freedom, and one who never wanted to have to be the one who had to be there for her baby to fall asleep.
At two-three weeks I begin pumping twice in the evening to make one bedtime bottle. And I’m not the one who feeds it to her. It’s the life changing move you can make if you have a breastfed baby.
Look at the science…as the day goes on your milk decreases…so for a breastfed baby the least amount of milk they get is before the longest stretch that you want to get. Insanity. This does not include me getting enough sleep.
However, by pumping twice in the evenings the bottle is a little heftier. It’s may even be the most milk they get in a day. And it fills their little bellies and helps them fall into a milk coma.
Now I hate pumping, but I do love sleeping. So it’s the sacrafice I’m willing to make to get longer stretches to sleep.
The other key to the bedtime bottle is I’ve never been the one to give it to the girls. Easy E has fed both girls every single bottle at bedtime since we started pumping (maybe I’ve given a few for work trips or fantasy football draft nights). THIS IS ANOTHER KEY! My precious little girls who love me so much want nothing to do with me at bedtime…because they would associate bedtime with daddy and that bottle.
So when we could start getting out…no baby looking for a booby, no baby looking for mommy, no baby not getting enough. Happy baby who will take milk from Freddie Krueger if he sat in the right chair and offered it in a bottle.
3. Ignore the Kids from Bedtime to Morning.
I had a few rules when the kids were both born. Well, lets be honest to poor Easy E, I had a lot of rules. But one that he loved was the silent treatment. Even if our little bambinos would wake up over night at the beginning, once the “bedtime routine” had happened it was a different mommy and daddy. We didn’t and don’t turn on any lights, we don’t talk or sing or hum to the babies, we don’t look them in the eyes, and most importantly, we have one chair and one chair only in the bedroom. If you are coming out of the crib you are going to that chair. Then back to the crib. So even if you can’t fully sleep in the crib/bassinet you will at least associate that chair with sleep as well. Bedtime is business, and I’m in the business of sleep.
4. I don’t care what your bedtime is, but I care what your wake up is.
One of the first things I ask people when they struggle with a sleeping baby is what their wake up time is….their answer is usually this:
“Well they go to bed at 8 and they wake up anytime between 6-9 AM”.
BIG MISTAKE. It should be the other way around.
My kids don’t have a set bedtime. They have a set amount of hours they are awake and then they go to bed. But they do have a set wake up time. We always did 8:30 AM.
What does this mean?
It means that if you wake up before 8:30 AM (I’m flexible to up to 45 minutes prior at the beginning) we are still in night mode, I’ll hold you in the chair but you are not starting your day until 8:30 AM. We won’t be talking, or putting on lights. And when they are very little if you sleep past 8:30 I wake you up by 8:45. This means that very quickly your kids work out when they wake up and once that is consistent your naps (another post) and bedtime all fall in place together.
It’s not perfect. Those first few weeks you can do all of this and you still won’t have a baby that sleeps. They aren’t ready. They are learning to be alive. That’s okay. Those first few weeks are about teaching them patterns, and most important, getting you into them too. You got this Mamas.
Please let me know any questions you have about getting your babies to sleep below!