My friend was telling me she’d hit a breaking point with her 4 year old the other night. After a long day out she was driving home and knew, as all mothers know, that if her daughter fell asleep five minutes before they got home, then that 5 minute nap would just crush bedtime. And like clockwork, she fell asleep in that last final stretch before the house. Mommy was very tired and with a wired 4 year old still up at 11 PM, she’d had enough.
” Mommy isn’t here anymore. Mommy is done for the night. My name is Megyn. I am Megyn for the rest of tonight”.
She called me today and said that she was taken aback by how liberated she felt after saying it. Like, somehow by calling herself by her own name, she felt stronger. Liberated. By her own name.
At what point in being a mom do we subconsciously lose who we are to become mommy? And do we all need that moment of realization?
The other day I was out with my niece and she said to Maggie, “Tell Kik hello”. Maggie doesn’t know me as Kik, I’m mommy.
But I am Kik.
And maybe, it’s important over the years to make sure she knows that. And maybe the reason is to remind me as well.
I think in the sacrificing world of becoming mommy we convince ourselves we need to be mommy all the time. It’s a 24 hour a day job after all. That’s the big word on the street. But what if for 15 minutes a day we showed our kids that we are more than mommy. Or even more admittingly, we are less than mommy. That we are us. And sometimes that means I can’t entertain you anymore right now, or I need to stop and drink my cup of coffee, or I need a quick texting session.
When Easy E comes in and gives me a kiss after work and says “Hello Mommy” should he maybe say “Hello Kik”. I mean, I get it, I wash his clothes and cook for him also, but I want to be Kik in his eyes. Because Kik is fun, and drinks beer at night, and makes inappropriate jokes, and I really really like being her. And I want Maggie to see that while he loves me, I’m more than just Mommy to him. And I’m more than just Mommy to me.